One of the problems christian couples often face is complacency in their marriage. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable and content with your spouse and what you’ve built together.

However, there’s a fine line between contentment and laziness.

That’s why so many christian couples struggle after being together for a long time. They think the “spark” is gone, or sometimes feel more like roommates than romantic partners.

Even if your marriage is in a good place, you should have a constant drive to be a better spouse. It’s easier than you might think, and by paying a little extra time and attention to the person you love, your marriage can end up feeling stronger than ever.

With that, let’s look at four ways you can be a better spouse.

1. Make Time for Your Marriage

There’s no denying most people have extremely busy lives.

Whether you work a lot, you’re trying to maintain a social life, stay involved with your hobbies, or run your kids from activity to activity, it’s often easy for your relationship to take a back seat to everything else.

While it might not seem overly romantic to “schedule” time with your spouse, sometimes it’s a necessity. It’s also more loving than you might think.

By scheduling time together consistently, you’re showing your spouse that you value your marriage. Most importantly, you value them, and you want to put in the time and effort to show them that.

2. Be Present

You might not feel like you have a lot of spare time, but it could just be that you’re not making the most of the time you do have.

Chances are, you’re with your spouse at different times throughout the day. However, maybe you’re spending that time watching television or scrolling through Instagram.

While there’s nothing wrong with that sometimes, it’s taking away from the quality time you could be spending together. You’re letting distractions keep you from being present. Sometimes, you don’t necessarily have to talk, but making sure your presence is known, offering nonsexual physical touch, and being in the moment with your spouse can go a long way.

3. Show Gratitude

People, in general, are quick to call out others when something goes wrong or when they make a mistake. We’re less likely to praise someone, especially for “little things.”

However, in a marriage, gratitude is essential. Maybe you’ve gotten so used to things being a certain way with your spouse that they’ve become expectations. But, when you really think about the things they do for you on a regular basis, should you be thanking them more often?

Showing your spouse gratitude for everything from making you a cup of coffee to doing your laundry can make a big difference in your marriage. They will feel seen, heard, and validated. That’s an instant mood-booster and can also boost intimacy between you.

4. Be a Better Listener

Even if you and your spouse are good at communicating, there’s always room for improvement when it comes to active listening.

Active listening involves more than just hearing what your spouse has to say. It should be distraction-free, and they should have your full attention. If you really want them to know you’re interested in what they’re saying, use both verbal and non-verbal reactions. Look them in the eye, nod, and ask questions when you have them. Repeat statements when you need clarification, or to validate their feelings.

You might be surprised by how impactful changing your listening style can be.

It’s never a bad idea to look at your relationship and consider how you can be a better spouse. There are so many additional things you can do, but if you’re looking for a place to get started, keep these ideas in mind, and enjoy the process of strengthening your marriage.

5.  Initiate Prayer and Worship Together

Spending time praying and worshipping together draws you and your spouse not only closer to God but also closer to each other.  Sharing what is on your heart and praying together is one of the most powerful ways to feel connected.

Taking time to worship God together through reading the Bible, practicing spiritual disciplines, going to church, etc. are all ways to help you grow into a being a better spouse.

If you are looking to improve your Christian marriage and to become a better spouse consider a Christian marriage retreat or a Christian marriage intensive.  Our offices are in Arizona with locations including Phoenix, Anthem, Biltmore, Paradise Valley, and Scottsdale.

Contact us by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com and mention your interest in a Christian marriage intensive.

Couples from out of Arizona are welcome to attend one of our Christian marriage retreats or Christian marriage intensives.

Maybe a marriage intensive is not right for you.  If you are looking for more traditional weekly marriage counseling for your Christian marriage or even individual counseling to learn how to better deal with your anger please visit our website for Crossroads Counseling, click here.