Communication Tips for Couples in Distress

Communication Tips for Couples in Distress

Communication is one of the most important keys to a successful Christian marriage.

Unfortunately, when your marriage is in distress, it often feels like communication goes out the window. It could even be your lack of communication skills that is causing problems in your marriage, to begin with.

But, that doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed or that you and your spouse can’t work things out.

Let’s cover a few helpful communication tips that can get you back on track, especially when it feels like your marriage is struggling.

Be an Active Listener

Everyone wants to be heard, especially in marriage. But, talking at the same time won’t accomplish anything. Additionally, “hearing” your spouse isn’t the same as actively listening to them.

To be an effective communicator, you first have to be an effective listener. If you feel like lines are getting crossed in your relationship, it could be because neither one of you is truly listening to what the other has to say.

When you’re having a conversation with your spouse, eliminate other distractions. Put your focus on them and ask for the same in return. Acknowledge what they’re saying, ask questions if necessary, and validate their feelings so they know you understand what they mean. By truly listening to each other, you might be able to work through problems faster and with less stress.

Stay in the Moment

Did you know arguments can actually be productive and strengthen your relationship?

But, they have to be worked through the right way.

Far too often, couples who disagree about something bring up topics that aren’t relevant to the subject at hand. Insulting your spouse or bringing up old wounds will never make an argument better. It shows that you’re more interested in hitting below the belt than trying to work together on a conclusion.

Remember, you’re on the same team as the person you love. You don’t have to agree on everything, but by keeping things in the moment and not bringing up the problems of the past, you’re more likely to work through things together as a unit, rather than feeling like you’re fighting against them every step of the way.

Check in With Your Spouse Frequently

We live in a busy world, and it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed by your schedule and everything you have to do. In relationships, that can leave little time to really connect with your spouse and give them your full attention.

But, it’s so important to make communication a priority.

Make a point to check in with your spouse at least once a day. Set aside a specific time each day for the two of you to talk and make sure your focus is on each other. Put your smartphones down, don’t have the television playing in the background, and make sure you’re speaking face-to-face. It can take some getting used to, at first. But, doing so will not only help to improve communication in your relationship, it will likely be something you end up looking forward to each day as it strengthens your bond and increases intimacy.

It’s not uncommon for couples in distress to be dealing with communication issues. These tips can go a long way in helping you overcome those problems. But, if you’re still struggling, you don’t have to go through it alone.

Everyone’s communication style is different. Learning more about your own and your spouse’s styles can make a big difference in the success and strength of your relationship as you move forward.

If you find that communication struggles in your marriage are causing great pain please contact me to learn how one a Christian marriage intensives might help your marriage.

Call 623-680-3486, text 623-688-5115, or email and mention your interest in a Christian marriage intensive.

Our offices throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, Biltmore, Paradise Valley, and Scottsdale.

Couples from out of Arizona are welcome to attend one of our intensives.  Contact us for more information.