Overcoming Resentment: A Common Goal in Marriage Intensives

People choose to go to a marriage intensive or a marriage retreat for a multitude of reasons. You don’t need to wait for your relationship to be on rocky ground to benefit from a marriage intensive together. You could simply want to improve communication, strengthen your bond, or overcome a challenge together.

Whatever the case, a common goal in intensive marriage therapy is to overcome resentment in your relationship.

Resentment can occur for many reasons. Maybe you’re still holding onto negative feelings from an unresolved argument. Maybe you resent your spouse because their job caused you to move to a different part of the country. The possibilities are endless, but resentment can quickly become a cancer to your relationship, causing problems from the inside out.

Let’s take a look at how a marriage intensive retreat can help you overcome resentment and start healing.

Identifying the Problem

If you’re struggling with resentment in your relationship, you might not fully understand why. Resentment, like unforgiveness, can creep in quietly and take hold of your relationship before you’re able to give it a name.

Signs of resentment in your relationship might include feelings of detachment, anger toward your spouse, a lack of intimacy, or passive-aggressive behavior. You might even be struggling with communication issues due to negative feelings toward each other.

When you’re in the middle of a problem in your relationship, it’s often difficult to uncover the root of the issue. Therapy can help you identify your triggers, negative interactions, and the core of where your resentment is coming from. While that’s not always an easy thing to admit, it’s a necessary step toward healing together.

Creating a Firm Foundation

Resentment can develop when you and your spouse aren’t as emotionally available as you should be. A strong foundation is essential to a relationship that experiences changes and challenges. You should be able to work through your differences and the ups and downs you’ll experience together without them creating underlying resentment.

There are many factors to focus on when you’re establishing a strong relational foundation. Respecting each other, setting healthy boundaries, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and adjusting your expectations.

Boost Communication

Another way to build a strong foundation in your relationship is to make sure you’re prioritizing communication. Without healthy communication, resentment can become stronger, and you’ll never work through the issues affecting your relationship in healthy, impactful ways. In fact, you might find yourself arguing more often than not without really gaining any positive ground.

Building healthy communication skills involves learning how to be an active listener. It also involves conflict resolution. Healthy couples argue, but they do so in ways that can bring them closer, rather than giving into fights that tear each other down.

Learn to Forgive

Forgiveness isn’t always as easy as people make it out to be. You can tell your spouse you forgive them for something, but you might still be holding a grudge beneath the surface.

True forgiveness requires empathy. It requires you to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes so you can understand their perspective. When you do that, you can reframe the way you see things. You’ll be less likely to hold onto resentment and more likely to come to a healthy understanding. You don’t always have to agree on everything, but make sure you’re not holding onto “past hurts” that will only serve as underlying issues in your relationship that are constantly simmering beneath the surface.

If you’re interested in learning more about overcoming resentment by participating in a Christian marriage intensive, feel free to contact me for information. Or, reach out to set up an appointment soon. You don’t have to wait for problems to get bigger. You can move past resentment and learn to communicate in healthier ways that will make your relationship stronger than ever.

Reach Out Now to Book Your Christian Marriage Intensive

If your marriage is stuck in unforgiveness and resentment there is hope for reconciliation.  True reconciliation is when the trust, safety, security, vulnerability and intimacy in your marriage is restored.

If you’re trying to move past resentment and find true reconciliation in your marriage, don’t feel like you have to navigate the journey on your own. Contact us by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com and mention your interest in a Christian marriage intensive.

Couples from out of Arizona are welcome to attend one of our 2, 3, or 4 day Christian marriage retreats or Christian marriage intensives.

If you are not able to attend 2, 3, or 4 days and live locally to our office, you and your spouse could participate in intensive sessions occurring 2-3 times per week.  These are 2 hour sessions for a period of 2-3 weeks, or longer, if needed.

If you are looking for more traditional weekly marriage counseling for your Christian marriage or even individual counseling to learn how to better deal with infidelity trauma in please visit our website for Crossroads Counseling, click here.

We have locations in Scottsdale, Phoenix, and online or virtual therapy is available throughout the state of Arizona.

To learn more about Christian Affair Recovery Experts (C.A.R.E.) click here.